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Divorce mediation

Divorce mediation is an active process in which the mediator helps you identify all the issues that need to be covered in your separation agreement.

Your mediator will help you determine what it costs to live apart and, using that information together with the current income, help you determine the amount and duration of support. He will show you how the State Child Support Guidelines apply to your situation.

He will help you identify all of your martial assets, figure out their value, and help you to divide them fairly.

He will also help you make all of the future parenting decisions.

Mediation is conducted so that there should be no losers - one spouse should not win at the expense of the other.

Divorce by mediation is a non adversarial process helping people negotiate directly and dissolve marriages once the decision to divorce or separate is made. He provides you with the opportunity to negotiate mutually beneficial terms in total privacy.

Divorce by mediation helps identify key issues concerning the division of personal and real property, support, parenting, and plans for the future. It helps eliminate the painful win-lose atmosphere that is part of all adversarial divorces. The process is a mutual search for a reasonable solution; neither partner can win at the other's expense. Resolutions must emerge from the process with a settlement crated and accepted by both. Mediation can also deal with specific limited issues such as times of access, what to do with the house, or other issues specified by you at the start.

The important aspects of Divorce by Mediation are that:
It is non adversarial. You are partners in decision-making.
It is mutual. You both must agree on solutions, or there is no agreement.
It helps clarify areas of conflict. Most couples have some conflict. The mediator helps you limit the conflict and discuss things productively.
It gives you power. You control your own decision over your own lives.
It is best for your children. All of the discussions are tempered by the fact that you are both parents of your children and you will have a continuing relationship as parents after you have ended the spouse relationship. Most other forms of divorce negotiations forget the best interests of the children. In mediation it is always paramount.

You owe it to yourself, your children, and your future to learn more about mediation.

Fees are moderate and on an hourly basis. We charge no retainers. You pay only for the actual time you use.

We ask that you share in the fees in a way that is appropriate to your situation, remembering that the mediator is working for both parties.
The average mediation takes twelve hours. Mediation of specific issues or for couples without children is shorter.

Alfred R. Rego, Jr., J.D. is a practicing attorney with over thirty years experience in Family Law issues. He is a member of the Rhode Island Bar Association, The Academy of Family Mediators and the Rhode Island Council of Family Mediators.

How to proceed. All you need to do is to call and arrange for a mutually convenient appointment for you and your spouse to come in for a no obligation, free consultation. At that time, a detailed explanation of how we proceed is described. Both of you receive the same information, and therefore each of you can rest assured that you will be on equal footing from the outset of the proceedings.

Divorce by Mediation is not a legal service. The outcome of the mediation is a memorandum of understanding detailing all of your agreements that your divorce attorney will review and incorporate into the formal legal documents.

This article is provided as a public service. It contains general information and is not intended to provide legal advice; the facts involved in a specific case determining the application of the law. If you have specific questions about any matter contained in this pamphlet, you are encouraged to consult an attorney.

Reprint courtesy of John M. Hayes, Ph.D. "The Fundamentals of Family Mediation" Copyright 1978, 1989, 1991, John M. Haynes, PhD. All rights reserved.